Opening Question:

What is one quality you wish people around you had more of (patience, kindness, honesty, generosity, etc.)? What makes that quality important to you?

Key Takeaways:

• Jesus calls us to “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12).
• It is easier to identify what needs to change in other people than to recognize what needs to change in ourselves.
• Be what you want to see. Instead of waiting for others to change, we can take responsibility for the kind of person and influence we become.
• Following Jesus requires more than good intentions—it requires trust, obedience, and action.
• We shouldn’t simply ask God for things we aren’t willing to give to others.
• God doesn’t intend for our lives to be spiritual reservoirs that only receive; He wants us to be rivers that allow what He gives us to flow to others.
• What we repeatedly give, practice, and become can shape the people and culture around us.
• We can stop complaining about what is missing and start becoming the change we want to see.

Discussion Questions:

Part 1: Look in the Mirror

1. Pastor said, “We are experts at identifying what we wish other people would become.” Why is it easier to see what other people need to change than to see what we need to change?
2. Think about the quality you named in the opening question. Are you currently being that kind of person toward others? Why or why not?
3. Jesus says, “Do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). What do you think Jesus is asking us to actually do, not just believe?

Part 2: Be What You Want to See

1. “Before you see it, you’ve got to be it.” What would change in your relationships, family, workplace, or friendships if you stopped waiting for other people to change first?
2. Think about a situation where you keep experiencing the same frustration with people. Could there be anything in your own attitude, behavior, or choices that is contributing to the situation? Be honest.

Part 3: What Are You Asking God For?

1. Pastor challenged us: “You should not request from God what you refuse to do for others.” Is there something you regularly ask God to give you—patience, encouragement, generosity, friendship, grace, opportunity—that you struggle to give to other people?
2. Jesus says, “Ask… seek… knock” (Matthew 7:7–11), and then immediately teaches us to treat others the way we want to be treated. What do you think these two teachings have to do with each other?

Part 4: You Decide

1. Finish this sentence honestly: “If I want to see more __________ in my life, I need to start being more __________.”
2. What is one specific thing you can do this week to “be what you want to see”?