“Say Less, Hear More” | Steve DeFrain

“SAY LESS, HEAR MORE”

Proverbs 18… ² Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

Proverbs 18… ¹³ To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.

Proverbs 29… ²⁰ Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them.

We can speak to IMPRESS, but listen for IMPACT

James 1… ¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

A great voice can fill a room, but great ears can change a life

John 5…1Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. ² Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. ³ Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. ⁵ One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. ⁶ When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” ⁷ “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” ⁸ Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” ⁹ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

HOW TO LISTEN LIKE JESUS…

(POINT ONE) STOP

John 5…1Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals.

(POINT TWO) LOOK

^…3 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. ⁵ One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. ⁶ When Jesus saw him lying there

(POINT THREE) LEARN

(SCREEN ONLY) …and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, 

Proverbs 20…⁵ The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.

(POINT FOUR) EARN

^…8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 

Psalms 116… ¹ I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. ² Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

Small Group Guide: “Say Less, Hear More – The Art of Listening”

Opening Question: How would you rate your listening skills on a scale of 1-10? Why did you choose that rating?

Key Takeaways:

1. Listening is crucial for making an impact in people’s lives.
2. Jesus exemplified the art of listening throughout his ministry.
3. Good listening involves stopping, looking, learning, and earning trust.
4. Our culture often overvalues talking and undervalues listening.
5. Listening reflects God’s character and can change relationships and the world.

Discussion Questions:

1. Why do you think our culture tends to celebrate speaking more than listening?
2. The pastor mentioned that “great ears can change a life.” Can you share an experience where someone’s listening made a significant impact on you?
3. How might practicing “whole body listening” change your interactions with others?
4. The sermon highlighted Jesus’ approach to listening. How can we apply His example in our daily lives?
5. Discuss the statement: “If you want to impress people, talk. If you want to make an impact, you’ve got to learn the art of listening.” Do you agree or disagree? Why?
6. How might improving your listening skills affect your relationships (family, work, friends)?
7. The pastor mentioned that God is a listening God. How does this perspective impact your view of prayer and your relationship with God?

Practical Applications:

1. This week, practice the SLLE method in your conversations:
   • Stop: Give your full attention
   • Look: Make eye contact and observe body language
   • Learn: Ask thoughtful questions
   • Earn: Build trust through active listening
2. Choose one important relationship in your life. Commit to having a conversation where you focus solely on listening without trying to fix or respond immediately.
3. Reflect on your prayer life. How can you incorporate more listening in your time with God?
4. Keep a “listening journal” for a week. Note instances where you practiced good listening and areas where you can improve.

Closing Prayer: Lord, thank you for being a God who listens to us. Help us to reflect Your character by becoming better listeners. Give us the patience and wisdom to stop, look, and learn from others. May our improved listening skills make a real impact for Your kingdom. In Jesus’ name, Amen.