“Don’t Take the Fathers” | Steve DeFrain

Proverbs 20… ¹ Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise. ² A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives. ³ It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

THE CHOICES A FATHER MUST MAKE…

(POINT ONE) CHOOSE LEGACY OVER LAZINESS

Proverbs 20… ⁴ Sluggards do not plow in season; so at harvest time they look but find nothing.

Your life is the loudest sermon your kids will ever hear

(POINT TWO) CHOOSE TRUSTWORTHINESS OVER TALK

Proverbs 20… ⁶ Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?

Psalms 15... ⁴  who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind;

(POINT THREE) CHOOSE CHARACTER OVER COMPROMISE

Proverbs 20… ⁷ The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.

Proverbs 20… ²³ The Lord detests differing weights, and dishonest scales do not please him.

(POINT FOUR) CHOOSE PROTECTION OVER PASSIVITY

Proverbs 20… ⁸ When a king sits on his throne to judge, he winnows out all evil with his eyes.

(POINT FIVE) CHOOSE HUMILITY OVER HYPE

Proverbs 20… ⁹ Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”?

James 4… ⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”  ⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Discussion Guide:

Opening Prayer

Key Takeaways:

1. The role of fathers is critically important in the lives of children and families.
2. There are five key choices fathers must make to be godly leaders in their homes.
3. Humility and reliance on Jesus are essential for being a good father.

Discussion Questions:

1. The pastor mentions that studies show fathers have a significant impact on children’s outcomes. Were you surprised by this? How does this align with your own experiences or observations?
2. The sermon outlines five choices fathers must make. Which of these resonated with you the most and why? a. Legacy over laziness b. Trustworthiness over talk c. Character over compromise d. Protection over passivity e. Humility over hype
3. The pastor shares personal stories of his failures as a father. How does vulnerability and admitting mistakes impact our relationships with our children?
4. How can we cultivate an attitude of humility in our roles as parents or leaders?
5. The sermon emphasizes the importance of spending quality time with children. What are some practical ways we can create more meaningful interactions with our kids or other young people in our lives?
6. How does our relationship with Jesus impact our ability to be good fathers or mentors to others?

Practical Applications:

1. This week, intentionally set aside 15-30 minutes of uninterrupted, non-task-oriented time with your child or a young person you mentor.
2. Reflect on an area where you’ve fallen short as a parent or leader. Practice humility by admitting this mistake to the person affected and asking for forgiveness.
3. Choose one area of “protection” to focus on this week (e.g., praying for your family, monitoring screen time, getting to know your kids’ friends).
4. For those without children: Consider how you can apply these principles in mentoring or leadership roles in your life.

Closing Prayer: Thank God for His perfect fatherhood and ask for His guidance in becoming better fathers, mentors, and leaders in our families and communities.